A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
Two things I hate the most: (1) The new lover of an EX (2) The EX of a new lover.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
Shit happens bro. Now get over it.
That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.
I eat problems, then shit out success.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
