A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Hurting someone with the truth is better than killing them with a lie.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.
You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I'd take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
I'm a very nice person...but for you I'll make an exception.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
