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A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!

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Wild hearts can't be broken.

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The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.

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You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.

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Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.

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Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

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Playing comes first, you can work later.

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My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.

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Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.

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Haters make you famous.

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If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.

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Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.

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I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.

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Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.

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I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.

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If I don't answer your first call, calling me 39971629829202 times won't make me pick up.

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I really need you to, put the camera down and step away from the mirror.

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If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.

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I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.