You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.
When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
I wish I was as much of a morning person as my penis is.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
Your character is more accurately determined by what you say about others behind their backs.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
