You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
Haters make you famous.
Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
True friends aren't bought, they are earned.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means never.
I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
The notion that you feel my pain is extremely uncertain. You have to apply the experience and pain of my life in order to come to this road.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
If I'm weird with you, I'm comfortable with you.
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter then you.
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
