You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
I hate when I walk into a room, forget what I need, walk out and then remember.
I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
If most people said what was on their minds, they'd be speechless.
Two things I hate the most: (1) The new lover of an EX (2) The EX of a new lover.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
I will love you until the end. If you feel that I don't love you, this is just the beginning.
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
