Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
Take it easy, give it hard.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
If you text me first, it's your job to keep the conversation going!
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.
You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
