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Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?

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A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.

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Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.

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Cool story bro. Put it in the history books with all the other boring sh*t I don't care about.

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There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

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How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?

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Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.

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Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.

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Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.

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It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.

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Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.

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Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them a second bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.

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I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.

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Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.

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Love is just a word, until someone comes along and gives it meaning.

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If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

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Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.

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A girl looks at what a man drives. A woman looks at what drives a man.

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The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.