I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.
I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'
So my life has reached the point where I've stopped asking "Why me!?" and started asking "Oh, again?"
The last thing I want to do is die.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That is why they call it the present.
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
