I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
Love needs to get glasses.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
Regret lasts longer than fear.
If you text me first, it's your job to keep the conversation going!
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
Today was a beautiful day. Then you showed up.
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.
I swear Mario is a hobo! he wakes up wearing the same clothes, runs in sewers, and steals coins. To buy what. MUSHROOMS?
Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.
