I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
Cry over cuts and stitches not bastards and bitches.
Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
NO MUM. You're mad because you're wrong not because I was talking back.
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge, trust me, it hurts less.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
