Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it.
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
Take it easy, give it hard.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.