Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
You don't like my opinion, wait until you hear the ones I keep to myself.
I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you.
You live and you learn.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.