Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help, So I hired a hitman.
I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.
Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
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