Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
Cool story bro. Put it in the history books with all the other boring sh*t I don't care about.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
Some women can't find a GOOD MAN cause they're too busy looking for a PERFECT MAN.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
Two things I hate the most: (1) The new lover of an EX (2) The EX of a new lover.
When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".
Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
You don't like my opinion, wait until you hear the ones I keep to myself.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
Love needs to get glasses.
The last thing I want to do is die.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
True friends stab you in the front!
Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
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