Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
WORRY looks around. REGRET looks back. FAITH looks forward.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
That awkward moment when sluts wear clothes.
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
You can't define love, but love can define you.
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
I hate when I'm on the couch after a long day, I put the TV on and then my family starts having a competition of who can be the loudest.
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.
Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.
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