Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.
So my life has reached the point where I've stopped asking "Why me!?" and started asking "Oh, again?"
Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
True friends stab you in the front!
That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.
It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it.
Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
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