Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
That awkward moment when it's not okay after an apology.
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
Fight poverty. Throw stones at beggers.
My grandma is 80 and she still doesn't need glasses... she drinks straight out of the bottle.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
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