I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.
I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
Perception is everything.
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
