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I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.

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He who laughs last didn't get it.

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It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.

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To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.

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I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.

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I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.

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Negativity is poison for the soul.

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I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.

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If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.

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The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.

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The smile is every woman's sexiest curve.

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If you text me first, it's your job to keep the conversation going!

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It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.

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I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.

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I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.

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I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.

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If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.

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I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.

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That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.