I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
You can pay for school, but you can't buy class.
It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
When we hit our lowest point, We are open to the greatest changes.
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
Shit happens bro. Now get over it.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.
If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...
It's weird not to be weird.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
You can't define love, but love can define you.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
