I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
Good things don't always have to come to an end.
People are stupid, with random moments of brilliance.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
Shit happens bro. Now get over it.
You live and you learn.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
