He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Don't let the world change your smile, let your smile change the world.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
God made opposites. He made heaven and hell, darkness and light. He made me smart, and you....
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
I knew I was in love when all those stupid love songs started to make sense.
My biggest mistake is not kissing you when I had the chance.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
Real eyes realize real lies.
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
