He who laughs last thinks slowest.
My grandma is 80 and she still doesn't need glasses... she drinks straight out of the bottle.
I'm experiencing Deja Vu and Amnesia at the same time... I think I've forgotten this before...
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
Sadly some boys think of girls as books; If the cover doesn't catch their eye they don't bother to read whats inside.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
