Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
F that B.
I'm not addicted to Twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.
Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.
True friends stab you in the front!
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
