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I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.

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Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?

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You're only as good as your last game.

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Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.

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I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.

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Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.

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I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.

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Everybody thinks that a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy. Yeah right, our dream is to EAT WITHOUT GETTING FAT!

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It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.

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Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."

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Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.

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You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.

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Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

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The last thing I want to do is die.

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What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'

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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

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You inspire me to be a better pervert.

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Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.

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Don't let the world change your smile, let your smile change the world.