I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.
So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel.
Winners don't wait for chances, they grab them.
Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I'd take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
Each morning when we wake up, we have two choices: go back to sleep and keep dreaming, or wake up and chase those dreams.
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
You should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it.
Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
