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I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.

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Be what you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

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I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.

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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

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He who laughs last didn't get it.

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Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.

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Two things I hate the most: (1) The new lover of an EX (2) The EX of a new lover.

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Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.

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The greatest part of being imperfect, is being perfect at it.

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How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?

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The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.

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I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

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You know it's going to be a great story when its starts off with, "So this b*tch!..."

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Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?

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Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

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Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.

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I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.

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Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.

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Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.