Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
