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Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.

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I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.

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Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.

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If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.

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I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.

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The smile is every woman's sexiest curve.

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The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.

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A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

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Don't look back. You'll miss what's in front of you.

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Auto-correct can kiss my ask.

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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.

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Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.

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I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.

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That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.

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People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.

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Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.

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You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.

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The awkward moment when Edward and Santa bump into each other in your room because they're both watching you sleep.