I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
I went up to my moms face and screamed " I WANT FOOD !!! " Until I got slapped in the face
Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
It's weird not to be weird.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
