I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
Accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
Winners don't wait for chances, they grab them.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.
Everybody spread positivity.
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
