I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
Women don't want to hear what you think, women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice.
Baby, I treat you like my homework, I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Playing comes first, you can work later.
Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.
Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesnt happen again.
The world is full of guys, be a man.
What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
