I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
You should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.
Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.
The last thing I want to do is die.
