I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
If you got haters, you must be doing something right.
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.
Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
