Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.
A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.
I went up to my moms face and screamed " I WANT FOOD !!! " Until I got slapped in the face
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
The world is a fucked up place. You fit right in.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
Some people should be high-fived...in the face.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
