Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.
Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow...when I woke up my pillow was gone.
Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
