If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
You don't like my opinion, wait until you hear the ones I keep to myself.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
The awkward moment when Edward and Santa bump into each other in your room because they're both watching you sleep.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.
