If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
Patience gets you everywhere on time.
Everybody thinks that a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy. Yeah right, our dream is to EAT WITHOUT GETTING FAT!
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I'd take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
Wherever you go, there you are.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
I will love you until the end. If you feel that I don't love you, this is just the beginning.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
I hate when I walk into a room, forget what I need, walk out and then remember.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
