Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
Playing comes first, you can work later.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it.
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
Trust in God but lock your car.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
Don't let the world change your smile, let your smile change the world.
