Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
If I'm weird with you, I'm comfortable with you.
Haters are just confused admirers.
You said what you said and you said what you said, so what you said is what you said.
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
Everybody spread positivity.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
Know one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
