Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.
If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
Fear not the weapon, but the hand that wields it.
Life is a bitch, but totally do-able.
