Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.
24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
Don't wait for anybody to complete you.
Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
Everybody thinks that a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy. Yeah right, our dream is to EAT WITHOUT GETTING FAT!
I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
Be man enough to accept the consequences, be child enough to do it anyway.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
