Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
Don't hate me because I'm better than you, hate yourself because you're not as good as me.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
Trust in God but lock your car.
Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
I went up to my moms face and screamed " I WANT FOOD !!! " Until I got slapped in the face
If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
