Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
That awkward moment when sluts wear clothes.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Love needs to get glasses.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.
I eat problems, then shit out success.
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
