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Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.

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When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".

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Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...

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Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.

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That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.

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I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.

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Nice shoes! Wanna screw?

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Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.

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Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.

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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

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If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

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Life is a bitch, but totally do-able.

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It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.

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I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.

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You can pay for school, but you can't buy class.

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How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.

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I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.

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After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.