Love needs to get glasses.
WORRY looks around. REGRET looks back. FAITH looks forward.
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
S_CCESS can't be complete without U.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
Some take the bait, others reel it in.
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
