Love needs to get glasses.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
The lottery: voluntary taxation.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Real eyes realize real lies.
If I don't answer your first call, calling me 39971629829202 times won't make me pick up.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
Winners don't wait for chances, they grab them.
Fall in love with my mind.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
You don't have to understand to be understanding.
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.
