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Dreams lift when reality falls.

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Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.

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2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.

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Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.

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Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.

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True friends aren't bought, they are earned.

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Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.

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Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.

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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

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Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.

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You can pay for school, but you can't buy class.

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That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.

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I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.

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Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.

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Haters are just confused admirers.

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I swear to drunk I'm not god.

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If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

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That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.