Dreams lift when reality falls.
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.
Love needs to get glasses.
Hello substitute teacher... Goodbye assigned seats.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
Chuck Norris has three types of laundry...whites, darks and blood stained.
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
A girl looks at what a man drives. A woman looks at what drives a man.
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.
Patience gets you everywhere on time.
So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
