Dreams lift when reality falls.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
