Dreams lift when reality falls.
F that B.
I'm a very nice person...but for you I'll make an exception.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
Each morning when we wake up, we have two choices: go back to sleep and keep dreaming, or wake up and chase those dreams.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
I'm not addicted to Twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
People are stupid, with random moments of brilliance.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.
