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Dreams lift when reality falls.

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Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.

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Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.

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Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?

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I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.

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Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.

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Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.

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You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.

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You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

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It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.

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A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.

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I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.

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Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.

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When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".

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If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.

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When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.

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It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.

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My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.