Dreams lift when reality falls.
If we're not supposed to have late night snacks....why is there a light in the fridge?
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
A girl looks at what a man drives. A woman looks at what drives a man.
Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
Make money, don't let it make you.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
