I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
Fight poverty. Throw stones at beggers.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
Immaturity keeps me young.
Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
Fear not the weapon, but the hand that wields it.
Wherever you go, there you are.
I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
