Everybody spread positivity.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them a second bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.
Here's a condom so that you can have protection while you go fuck yourself. :)
Haters hate because they are what you ain't.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.
Each morning when we wake up, we have two choices: go back to sleep and keep dreaming, or wake up and chase those dreams.
