Everybody spread positivity.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
You can pay for school, but you can't buy class.
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge, trust me, it hurts less.
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
Cry over cuts and stitches not bastards and bitches.
Chuck Norris has three types of laundry...whites, darks and blood stained.
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
