Everybody spread positivity.
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.
True friends aren't bought, they are earned.
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I'd take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
Treat every problem as your dog would: If you can't eat it, fuck it or piss on it, then walk away.
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Everybody is a student for life.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
