Always remember to smile.
We just have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay in our hearts....even if they don't stay in our lives.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.
Know one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care.
The notion that you feel my pain is extremely uncertain. You have to apply the experience and pain of my life in order to come to this road.
A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
Fall in love with my mind.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
If your life is so shitty maybe you should wipe your ass better.
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
Life isn't about staying dry, it's about learning how to play in the rain.
If you're good at something, don't do it for free.
Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.
