It's weird not to be weird.
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
Today was a beautiful day. Then you showed up.
Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
I knew I was in love when all those stupid love songs started to make sense.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
If most people said what was on their minds, they'd be speechless.
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
