You inspire me to be a better pervert.
Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.
F that B.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.
Everybody thinks that a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy. Yeah right, our dream is to EAT WITHOUT GETTING FAT!
Everybody is a student for life.
