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You inspire me to be a better pervert.

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If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.

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You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.

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When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.

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I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?

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Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.

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Know one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care.

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If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.

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If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.

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I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.

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War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

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Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

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Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.

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I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.

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I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.

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Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!

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Real eyes realize real lies.

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I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.

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The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.