You inspire me to be a better pervert.
Baby, I treat you like my homework, I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.
Dreams lift when reality falls.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
You know it's going to be a great story when its starts off with, "So this b*tch!..."
Love is just a word, until someone comes along and gives it meaning.
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
May the bridges I burn today, light the path tomorrow.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
If I'm weird with you, I'm comfortable with you.
A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Your character is more accurately determined by what you say about others behind their backs.
If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
