You inspire me to be a better pervert.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
Good things don't always have to come to an end.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!
Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
True friends stab you in the front!
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".
Today was a beautiful day. Then you showed up.
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
If you text me first, it's your job to keep the conversation going!
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
