I'm sorry you had bad luck and turned out to be an idiot.
Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
If you're good at something, don't do it for free.
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
Some take the bait, others reel it in.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
If you're lucky enough to be different, never change.
Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.