I'm sorry you had bad luck and turned out to be an idiot.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
You should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
Playing comes first, you can work later.
You live and you learn.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.
Treat every problem as your dog would: If you can't eat it, fuck it or piss on it, then walk away.
