I'm sorry you had bad luck and turned out to be an idiot.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
Make money, don't let it make you.
You're only as good as your last game.
Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
Hurting someone with the truth is better than killing them with a lie.
My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.
