I'm sorry you had bad luck and turned out to be an idiot.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.
Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.
I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.
The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.
Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
Treat every problem as your dog would: If you can't eat it, fuck it or piss on it, then walk away.
I'm not addicted to Twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
I want to go to Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
