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I'm sorry you had bad luck and turned out to be an idiot.

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Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesnt happen again.

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I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.

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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

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KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.

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Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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The world is full of guys, be a man.

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You inspire me to be a better pervert.

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He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.

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Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-

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Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

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If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.

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I'm experiencing Deja Vu and Amnesia at the same time... I think I've forgotten this before...

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If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.

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Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.

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I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.

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Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.

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A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.