I really need you to, put the camera down and step away from the mirror.
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
Be what you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
You can pay for school, but you can't buy class.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
It's weird not to be weird.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
