I really need you to, put the camera down and step away from the mirror.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.
Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
Wild hearts can't be broken.
Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.
I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.
Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow...when I woke up my pillow was gone.
I love walking in the rain 'cause no one can see me crying.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.
Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.
It's weird not to be weird.
You can pay for school, but you can't buy class.
Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.
