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I really need you to, put the camera down and step away from the mirror.

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You inspire me to be a better pervert.

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A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.

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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.

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Good things don't always have to come to an end.

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Love is just a word, until someone comes along and gives it meaning.

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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.

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So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.

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Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

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Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.

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Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.

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If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.

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WORRY looks around. REGRET looks back. FAITH looks forward.

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Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.

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Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.

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My grandma is 80 and she still doesn't need glasses... she drinks straight out of the bottle.

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I'm not addicted to Twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.