I really need you to, put the camera down and step away from the mirror.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
I have no time for stupid people. But they sure do have time for me.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Sometimes I look at people and think: That sperm actually won?
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.
