You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.
I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.
It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.
My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
You're only as good as your last game.
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
