You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
Dreams lift when reality falls.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesnt happen again.
I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.
That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.
I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means never.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
11.24265336624% of people pay too much attention to details.
My biggest mistake is not kissing you when I had the chance.
