You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.
I'm not addicted to Twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
I swear Mario is a hobo! he wakes up wearing the same clothes, runs in sewers, and steals coins. To buy what. MUSHROOMS?
Always remember to smile.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
If I don't answer your first call, calling me 39971629829202 times won't make me pick up.
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
That awkward moment when it's not okay after an apology.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
Some women can't find a GOOD MAN cause they're too busy looking for a PERFECT MAN.
You're only as good as your last game.
