You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.
Dreams lift when reality falls.
I hate when I'm on the couch after a long day, I put the TV on and then my family starts having a competition of who can be the loudest.
2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.
