I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Everybody is a student for life.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?
Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.
Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow...when I woke up my pillow was gone.
The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
God made opposites. He made heaven and hell, darkness and light. He made me smart, and you....
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
