I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
Life isn't about staying dry, it's about learning how to play in the rain.
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
I have no time for stupid people. But they sure do have time for me.
You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it.
If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
You don't have to understand to be understanding.
Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
If you're good at something, don't do it for free.
