I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.
True friends aren't bought, they are earned.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
I have no time for stupid people. But they sure do have time for me.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things that women remember.
Know one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care.
Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
Wherever you go, there you are.
