I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
Never count on tomorrow because it may forget to show up.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
Fall in love with my mind.
If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
Two things I hate the most: (1) The new lover of an EX (2) The EX of a new lover.
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
