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I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.

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You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.

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It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.

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Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?

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New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain

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Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

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Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.

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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.

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"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.

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Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.

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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.

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There are two kinds of secrets: one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep.

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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

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Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.

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Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.

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Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.

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If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.

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You're only as good as your last game.

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It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.