I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Make money, don't let it make you.
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.
The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.
