I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
If we're not supposed to have late night snacks....why is there a light in the fridge?
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
A girl looks at what a man drives. A woman looks at what drives a man.
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.
Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.
Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
