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Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.

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An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.

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Baby, I treat you like my homework, I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.

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2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.

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Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.

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I hate when I walk into a room, forget what I need, walk out and then remember.

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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

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I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.

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I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.

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Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.

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I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.

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Love needs to get glasses.

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I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.

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Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.

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My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.

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I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.

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My brain: 5% names, 3% phone numbers, 2% stuff I should know for school, 90% song lyrics.

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The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.