Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
Shit happens bro. Now get over it.
Trust in God but lock your car.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.
Don't hate me because I'm better than you, hate yourself because you're not as good as me.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
