Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.
Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.
Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.
Hurting someone with the truth is better than killing them with a lie.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
Today was a beautiful day. Then you showed up.
Shit happens bro. Now get over it.
I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.
