Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
I want to go to Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
