Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesnt happen again.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
If you got haters, you must be doing something right.
I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.
Each morning when we wake up, we have two choices: go back to sleep and keep dreaming, or wake up and chase those dreams.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
Cry over cuts and stitches not bastards and bitches.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
If I don't answer your first call, calling me 39971629829202 times won't make me pick up.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
