Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
Don't hate me because I'm better than you, hate yourself because you're not as good as me.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
I'm sorry you had bad luck and turned out to be an idiot.
My grandma is 80 and she still doesn't need glasses... she drinks straight out of the bottle.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
