Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
Never count on tomorrow because it may forget to show up.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
I hate when I'm on the couch after a long day, I put the TV on and then my family starts having a competition of who can be the loudest.
If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives.
It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
