Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel.
Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.
If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter then you.
NO MUM. You're mad because you're wrong not because I was talking back.
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!
Immaturity keeps me young.
I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
Everybody is a student for life.
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.
