Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
Everybody thinks that a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy. Yeah right, our dream is to EAT WITHOUT GETTING FAT!
WORRY looks around. REGRET looks back. FAITH looks forward.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.
You should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.
Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
If most people said what was on their minds, they'd be speechless.
You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
