It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.
Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.
Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
Fight poverty. Throw stones at beggers.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.
