It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.
It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
If your life is so shitty maybe you should wipe your ass better.
The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".
