Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.
I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
I hate when I walk into a room, forget what I need, walk out and then remember.
When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
Dreams lift when reality falls.
Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.
2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
I swear Mario is a hobo! he wakes up wearing the same clothes, runs in sewers, and steals coins. To buy what. MUSHROOMS?
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
