Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.
He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
That awkward moment when you walk through the metal detectors at the airport, and your abs of steel set them off.
It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.
The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
Be man enough to accept the consequences, be child enough to do it anyway.
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
If you're good at something, don't do it for free.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
Don't wait for anybody to complete you.
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
