Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.
Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
You can pay for school, but you can't buy class.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.
That awkward moment when sluts wear clothes.
Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
