Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.
The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.
If your life is so shitty maybe you should wipe your ass better.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
Sometimes I look at people and think: That sperm actually won?
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.
We just have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay in our hearts....even if they don't stay in our lives.
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
True friends stab you in the front!
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
Some take the bait, others reel it in.
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
