Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
If you're lucky enough to be different, never change.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
I am not afraid of death, it's just that I prefer not to be there when it happens.
Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.
Trust in God but lock your car.
Everybody spread positivity.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
Immaturity keeps me young.
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Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
Love needs to get glasses.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
