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.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I

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What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'

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I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.

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Born to be different, like everyone else.

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Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.

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If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.

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I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.

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I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.

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If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

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Cry over cuts and stitches not bastards and bitches.

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Love is just a word, until someone comes along and gives it meaning.

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Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.

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Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.

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You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

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Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.

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To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!

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Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.

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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

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Treat every problem as your dog would: If you can't eat it, fuck it or piss on it, then walk away.