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.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I

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I need a six month holiday, twice a year.

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We put the "us" in trust, baby.

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So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.

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I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.

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Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.

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Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.

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I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.

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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

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If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

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You know you love her when people think you're crazy.

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To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!

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Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.

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After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.

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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

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I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.

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Never count on tomorrow because it may forget to show up.

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Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.

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Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.