I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter then you.
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.
A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
Haters make you famous.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
