Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.
The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.
NO MUM. You're mad because you're wrong not because I was talking back.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
We put the "us" in trust, baby.
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
I knew I was in love when all those stupid love songs started to make sense.
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