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Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.

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I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.

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The world is a fucked up place. You fit right in.

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If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?

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If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.

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Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

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Here's a condom so that you can have protection while you go fuck yourself. :)

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Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.

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If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

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I need a six month holiday, twice a year.

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After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.

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We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

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Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.

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Giving up does not always mean you're weak, sometimes it just means your strong enough to let go.

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Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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History always has a way of repeating itself, bad or good, a perfect circle.

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True friends stab you in the front!

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Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.

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A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.