Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
Love needs to get glasses.
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
You don't have to understand to be understanding.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
Playing comes first, you can work later.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
My biggest mistake is not kissing you when I had the chance.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
11.24265336624% of people pay too much attention to details.
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
