Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
If you aren't good at lying, you better be good at keeping secrets.
S_CCESS can't be complete without U.
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.
That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
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