Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.
If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.
When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.
I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.
If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
Admit it! At one point in your life you closed the fridge really slowly to see when the light turns off.
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