Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
Some women can't find a GOOD MAN cause they're too busy looking for a PERFECT MAN.
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
S_CCESS can't be complete without U.
Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
WORRY looks around. REGRET looks back. FAITH looks forward.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
Sadly some boys think of girls as books; If the cover doesn't catch their eye they don't bother to read whats inside.
I went up to my moms face and screamed " I WANT FOOD !!! " Until I got slapped in the face
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
The last thing I want to do is die.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
