If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.
It's weird not to be weird.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.
A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
