If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.
Haters are just confused admirers.
The notion that you feel my pain is extremely uncertain. You have to apply the experience and pain of my life in order to come to this road.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
Sadly some boys think of girls as books; If the cover doesn't catch their eye they don't bother to read whats inside.
If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives.
I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
True friends aren't bought, they are earned.
Wherever you go, there you are.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
