If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.
Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
Never count on tomorrow because it may forget to show up.
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.