If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.
We put the "us" in trust, baby.
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.
I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
The world is full of guys, be a man.