If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
We are bestfriends. Always remember that when you fall, I'll pick you up. After I finish laughing.
Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.
The awkward moment when Edward and Santa bump into each other in your room because they're both watching you sleep.
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
I'm a very nice person...but for you I'll make an exception.
Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.
Patience gets you everywhere on time.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
If you aren't good at lying, you better be good at keeping secrets.
That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
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