If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
Real eyes realize real lies.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
The greatest part of being imperfect, is being perfect at it.
I swear Mario is a hobo! he wakes up wearing the same clothes, runs in sewers, and steals coins. To buy what. MUSHROOMS?
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
Your character is more accurately determined by what you say about others behind their backs.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
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