If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
Be positive for no reason.
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
Be what you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Never count on tomorrow because it may forget to show up.
If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.
© 2014 EpicQuotes |