If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
I'm sorry you had bad luck and turned out to be an idiot.
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I'd take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
We are bestfriends. Always remember that when you fall, I'll pick you up. After I finish laughing.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
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