If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.
You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Women don't want to hear what you think, women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice.
Wild hearts can't be broken.
Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.
It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.
Everybody is a student for life.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.
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