If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.
Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
If most people said what was on their minds, they'd be speechless.
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
Don't hate me because I'm better than you, hate yourself because you're not as good as me.
You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.
You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.
That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
The awkward moment when Edward and Santa bump into each other in your room because they're both watching you sleep.
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesnt happen again.
Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
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