Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.
Don't let the world change your smile, let your smile change the world.
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.
Did you just slap my ass? NO!? Damn I was hoping you did.
Good things don't always have to come to an end.
You can pay for school, but you can't buy class.
I hate when I'm on the couch after a long day, I put the TV on and then my family starts having a competition of who can be the loudest.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
Trust in God but lock your car.
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
