Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
That awkward moment when you walk through the metal detectors at the airport, and your abs of steel set them off.
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
I knew I was in love when all those stupid love songs started to make sense.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
History always has a way of repeating itself, bad or good, a perfect circle.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
