Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
I love walking in the rain 'cause no one can see me crying.
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
I hate when I walk into a room, forget what I need, walk out and then remember.
Hurting someone with the truth is better than killing them with a lie.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.
Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it.
I am not afraid of death, it's just that I prefer not to be there when it happens.
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.
