Here's a condom so that you can have protection while you go fuck yourself. :)
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
Be man enough to accept the consequences, be child enough to do it anyway.
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.
That awkward moment when it's not okay after an apology.
True friends aren't bought, they are earned.
Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
Always remember to smile.
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.
Real eyes realize real lies.
