Here's a condom so that you can have protection while you go fuck yourself. :)
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!
I will love you until the end. If you feel that I don't love you, this is just the beginning.
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
The smile is every woman's sexiest curve.
