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The last thing I want to do is die.

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There are two kinds of secrets: one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep.

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I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.

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Don't hate me because I'm better than you, hate yourself because you're not as good as me.

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I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.

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I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.

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There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

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I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.

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When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.

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We just have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay in our hearts....even if they don't stay in our lives.

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Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.

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If you aren't good at lying, you better be good at keeping secrets.

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Haters hate because they are what you ain't.

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Real eyes realize real lies.

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Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.

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Cool story bro. Put it in the history books with all the other boring sh*t I don't care about.

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Don't let the world change your smile, let your smile change the world.

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When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.

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Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.