The last thing I want to do is die.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things that women remember.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
True friends stab you in the front!
I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
Everybody thinks that a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy. Yeah right, our dream is to EAT WITHOUT GETTING FAT!
He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
Always remember to smile.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
Real eyes realize real lies.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
I am not afraid of death, it's just that I prefer not to be there when it happens.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
