The last thing I want to do is die.
Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Fight poverty. Throw stones at beggers.
24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.
