The last thing I want to do is die.
When life throws a rock at you, throw back a brick.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.
Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
I'm not addicted to Twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.
I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.
Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.
I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter then you.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
